The Best And Worst Of A WWE House Show From Winnipeg: 5000 Kids Have A Fun Time
Yup, WWE visited the frozen, barely thumping heart of the continent last night, with one of the more elaborate WWE house shows I’ve been to (there were, like, 8 matches and an intermission and everything). So, uh, I’m going to try to do this house show report thing right dammit…
1) Novelty size championship belts. Easily the most over entity at the show
2) Daniel Bryan
3) Non-existent Chris Jericho
4) Other Canadians
5) All other good guys
6) Alberto Del Rio, although they all came from a guy behind me who was very good at rolling the Rs on R-R-R-Rio
7) Nikki Bella (according to the boner of the guy beside us)
2) Guys who said Canada wasn’t good (BOOO THUMBS DOWN WE’RE GREAT)
3) My car that broke down after the show
S–t. I probably shouldn’t have started with Pops n’ Heat — never lead off with your hottest attraction.
Best: Winnipeg, The Anti-Chicago
If you’re tired of cynical wrestling crowds, I suggest taking in a WWE house in Winnipeg with an audience mostly made up of grade school Native American kids. The show started off with fan super-fave KOFI KINGSTON going against super heel DAMIEN SANDOW. Next up a Miz/Dolph Ziggler match featuring numerous non-ironic “This is awesome” chants.
Then Christian came out — we were all a little unsure about this guy, because he’s been mean to Sheamus who is a good guy, but then Christian outed himself as secretly the best dude ever by being all “Go Jets!” Yeah! Go Jets indeed, and go Christian! Also, little Native kids totally f–king love Roman Reigns.
At one point some jerks in the upper rows briefly tried to start up a CM Punk chant but everyone was all “NO THANKS, TOO BUSY CHEERING FOR BIG SHOW.” So yeah, thanks for being so Winnipeggy about it Winnipeg.
Worst: The Novelty Size Championship Belt Effect
That said, there was a bit of a lull in the intensity of the cheering around the middle of the show. Most would chalk it up to simple audience fatigue, but I’m laying the blame squarely on the novelty sized championship belts. As the show progressed more and more of the kids around us acquired them, and come on — are you going to pay attention to an Usos match when you’ve got a rad new mini-belt you can put on your head like a crown and hit your sister with? Come on. Thankfully most of the kids were already tired of their new toys by the time Batista and Daniel Bryan came out.
On a related note, we all make fun of the Divas butterfly belt, but I think I actually saw more girls with Divas belts last night than rude dudes with Rock belts. Say what you will about the title design, but I’m pretty sure no little girl asked to buy a replica Women’s Title belt, like, ever.
Believe it or not, the guy on the right ends up with a fist in his face.
Worst: The One Thing Of Importance To Happen On The Show According To The Rest of the World
So, a dickbag radio host in the front row pushed Batista and Batista punched him.
One the one hand, a part of you goes to house show secretly hoping to see this kind of thing. House shows are where the wrestlers get to misbehave and get away with it, right? In reality, it was something that took place 50-feet away, was over in two seconds and wasn’t the story of the night at all, but I guess “5000 kids have a fun time” isn’t a traffic generating headline.
Best: Yes, Yes, Yes!
Hey, did you know being in the midst of thousands of people loudly shouting yes and thrusting their arms about is cool and fun? It is! Oh, and Daniel Bryan’s match was pretty good too. Speaking of which…
Best: My Wrestling Photography Skillz
“This night’s main event will be held in a box of pure light!”
It’s like you’re really there!
Indistinct Blob #1 vs. Indistinct Blob #2 was a barn burner.
Better get me on staff quick PWI! You know, before National Geographic snags me away.
Thanks for tolerating this page of “Hee hee, I went to a house show!” stuff. See you next week folks.