The 2014 NFL Draft doesn’t begin for another 73 weeks, according to my calculations, and that means that NFL pundits and experts are currently on version No. 23597852925793587295 of their mock draft reports. The biggest thing that has changed in such mock drafts is the projection of the so-called Top 3 “sure thing” quarterbacks – Johnny Manziel, Blake Bortles and Teddy Bridgewater – as they have gone from all being Top 10 picks to maybe being late first rounders, or in Bridgewater’s case, falling off the face of the Earth, according to Mel Kiper.
Manziel, though, has mostly been the constant because of his impressive and grandiose Pro Day performance, complete with hella swaggy dope camo shorts and Nike’s authentic Pro Day gear (for the fan who f*cking hates saving money), as he’s still projected to go to the Houston Texans, Jacksonville Jaguars, Cleveland Browns, Oakland Raiders, or Minnesota Vikings, depending on which “expert” you put the most trust in to predict something that has never been predictable.
Meanwhile, Manziel still doesn’t give a sh*t about your mocks, because here he is swagging out at Casa YOLO on the water with some bros and jetskis. Is he gonna catch a tight spiral from his bro on the Sea-Doo? You bet your ass he is.
Your move, Blake Bortles. (And please let me know if you want me to be the bro on the jetski, because I will and we should be best friends.)