Worst: What Am I Supposed To Think About This Cesaro Stuff?
What is going on with Cesaro? They build him up as a good guy for months, finally have him break from Zeb, give him a career-making Wrestlemania moment and then team him with Paul Heyman? The guy who just engineered the end of The Undertaker’s streak? The most hated guy in the company? This is the equivalent of Darth Vader finally dumping the Emperor so he can join up with, I dunno, Space Hitler or something.
It would be one thing if Cesaro was now a definitive heel, but he isn’t. He wrestled most of his match with Big Show on defense like a babyface, then teased going for the GIANT GIANT SWING before being attacked from behind by dastardly heel Jack Swagger. Can’t Cesaro just be a cool guy who beats people up in amazing ways with his super muscles? Speaking of which…
Best: Okay, I Know What To Think About This
How is this even possible? Big Show is like, three times the size of Cesaro, and he’s not made of pillow fluff — dude’s 500 pounds of solid cheeseburgers. We’re in “ant carrying an entire potato chip” territory here. Somebody check if Cesaro has an exoskeleton.
Best: Rybaxel Don’t Always Have To Look Like Clowns?
I’m no great fan of either Ryback or Curtis Axel, but there’s some value in not making these guys look like assholes ever week. There should be some basic underlying logic determining who wins and loses aside from, “Who does Vince like this week?” Goldberg plus 30 pounds of muscle should probably win most of his matches. The technically gifted son of Mr. Perfect should probably win most of his matches. That way when the Usos or whoever beats them, it means something. When Ryback and Curtis Axel fight the stupid comedy matadors I should expect them to win (as they did on Smackdown) because this is supposed to be real. If you’re looking for somebody to lose like clowns, I believe R-Truth and Xavier Woods are still a part of the roster.