What? Hornswoggle is a heel now? And in 3MB? Okay, even if there is a disaster, this is the best Smackdown I’ve ever reviewed.
Now, I’ve always hated Hornswoggle. Heel Hornswoggle, face Hornswoggle, mute Hornswoggle, talking Hornswoggle — all invidious garbage. But shirtless, Chris Gaines hair, evil rock star Hornswoggle? I am all about that business. 31/2MB. YES YES YES.
The match was, uh, well, it was probably the best Hornswoggle match ever. The real story were the announcers, who were being all faux-excited and sardonic about it. Thing is, they were putting so much effort into their snark and goofy short jokes it came full circle and was significantly better than their regular commentary. Guys, maybe try to keep up this level of engagement when the full-sized guys are in the ring too.
Best: I’m Besting Bad News Barrett and Have Nothing Bad To Say About Bray Wyatt
Well, okay, Bray Wyatt wasn’t on the show this week, but still, a complete Smackdown report without any BNB or Wyatt negativity. I know, I didn’t see it coming either! Can all the stars be in Saudi Arabia every week?
Bad News Barrett returning to the ring just saves his whole deal for me. Now he’s a competent wrestler who does a silly thing on the side, which is fine by me. I like wrestlers with goofy gimmicks, I don’t like when goofy s–t is all they do. It’s the difference between most of the guys on the NXT roster a Ron Simmons DAMN segment (for the record, the former is mostly good, and the latter definitely isn’t). Also, “…and shows the entire world just how small your brains really are” should be how every future BNB segment ends.
Worst: Welcome To The Main Roster, Here’s Your Complimentary R-Truth Feud
Every time a new big deal bad guy hits the main roster he’s immediately sent careening into the brick wall that is R-Truth. Feuding with R-Truth immediately douses any sort of excitement generated by a big debut, and the new guy usually ends up looking like crap in the ring since R-Truth is a deceptively lousy wrestler. Truth is quick and does flips, so people assume he’s good, but he’s formulaic and boring and selfish as f–k, mindlessly hitting guys who need to look like monsters with vertical suplex-stunners and not really selling anything. Bray Wyatt took months to recover from his Truth feud — this has to stop. And no, making The Miz the guy you stick new guys with is not the solution. Think harder WWE.