Worst: Now ‘Michael McGillicutty’ Makes Even LESS Sense
The second rookie hype video is for Michael McGillicutty, and it didn’t do a lot to explain why they gave Mr. Perfect’s kid such a stupid handle. It’s not a Husky Harris situation where they briefly mention his dad and that’s it, they put emphasis on his lineage. It’s basically all he’s got. He’s all, “my grandfather was Larry The Ax Hennig. My father was Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig. My name is MIKE MCGILLICUTTY.”
WHY IS YOUR NAME MCGILLICUTTY, BRO? In what universe is “Joe Hennig” not the perfect name for JOE HENNIG, SON OF MR. PERFECT? You don’t bring up Cody Rhodes and call him BOBBY FTIZSIMMONS. I’ll never understand this. And hell, when they started calling him “Curtis Axel” it at least made sense … he was “Curtis” because of his dad and had “Ax” in his name because of his grandpa. Same thing they did with Rocky Maivia. That’s fine. Honor everybody. You are not honoring anybody by retconning your blue chip third generation star as STEVE SUGARBOTTOM.
Best/Worst: If We Watch The Rookie B-Show On SciFi, We Probably Watched Raw
The Best here is the previous night’s debut of THE NEXUS, Wade Barrett’s grand idea to take all 8 NXT rookies, put them together in a shit-kicking stable and have them dismantle everyone and everything in their path. I included it at the end of last week’s retro report. It was wonderful, even if it resulted in Daniel Bryan getting fired for realsies for emasculating Justin Roberts.
The Worst is that they spent a full 10 minutes of a 40-minute season premiere by replaying the Nexus formation and attack in real-time. If we’re watching this throwaway rookies vs. jobber pros game show on the science fiction channel, don’t you think we saw the ending to Raw? The most talked about ending to Raw WWE’d had in years? Recap it because it’s important to your narrative, yeah, but don’t turn NXT into Raw AM. Get one of your crack production guys to throw a Placebo track behind it and wrap it up in three minutes.
Worst: Matt Striker Is The Worst
Every episode of NXT should involve a rookie going into business for themselves and shooting on Matt Striker. Not with words, with punches. Elbows. Something. Just double-leg that smug motherf*cker and punch him until he’s unconscious. Striker starts off season 2 of NXT with the same “setting you up to fail” attitude he pioneered in season 1, asking rookies questions to get them mic time, then immediately mocking, interrupted or condescending on them to prevent them from growing or connecting.
He asks the various rookies what they think of the Nexus attack on Raw, and most of them take a safe route. Husky says he’s here to win NXT and doesn’t care, Percy Watson gets the crowd behind him by saying the Nexus was cowardly, etc. Some of the rookies try a creative approach … Alex Riley starts sneezing, with the payoff being that he’s allergic to Striker, and Striker just bulldozes right over it. He doesn’t even let Riley finish the bit and pulls the microphone away, telling him he’s “done.” And yeah, it’s not really funny, but Striker’s job is not to put himself over these guys. He’s the HOST. He should be doing everything in his power to make us care about each and every one of the new guys, whether they’re worth his efforts or not.
Best: Titus Makes It A Win
Look at the look on his face. He has no goddamn idea what he’s saying.
Striker asks Titus what he thinks about the Nexus attack, and the big man responds with the quote that has followed and haunted him since: “My thoughts. My thoughts are that season 1 come out here and try that with one of us. My thoughts. My thoughts are. If you gonna fight, make it a fight. And if you wanna win? (long pause) Make it a win.”
For whatever reason, Michael McGillicutty thought he was a Def Jam comedian during NXT season 2 and tried to respond to everything with cutting, sarcastic comments. The problem is that he’s got no comedic timing or observational skills, so he just says stupid shit and makes himself look bad. When it’s his turn to comment on the Nexus he responds with HEY FIRST OF ALL ANSWER THE QUESTION, A WIN IS A WIN AND DID YOU JUST SNEEZE IN THE MICROPHONE, WHAT IS THAT
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THESE ROOKIES, I MEAN WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS THAT CAME UP WITH THAT ONE
Striker just pulls the microphone away from him because he is an insufferable prick, but hey, McGillicutty wrestled at WrestleMania last weekend and Striker hung out with Kim Chee and the Boogeyman or whatever at WrestleCon, so f*ck him. Plus, we got an entire season of McGillicisms, so missing out on the further thoughts of Steve Sugarbottom is not so severe.
Worst: WORST ENDING EVER
The NXT season 2 pros respond to the Nexus attack from Raw by ending the premiere with an unprovoked attack on the rookies. Not the Nexus rookies, mind you, these new kids who just showed up and tried to make it a win. Suddenly, these do-gooders like Kofi Kingston are violently attacking innocents to “prove a point,” and it’s as morally uncomfortable as I’ve ever been watching WWE. Why is this happening? How is this a good message? I get that you have to have respect for the veterans, but they didn’t do anything. WWE arbitrarily pulled some guys up from developmental and slotted them into a game show. How is beating the hell out of them for nothing “welcoming them” to the WWE or teaching them a lesson?
I hated it. I hate it now. I also hate that the season 2 rookies went through the motions, licked ass and ended up doing a bunch of Double Dare challenges instead of IMMEDIATELY joining the Nexus and garroting these buttholes. They should’ve had MVP’s head on a spike by episode 3. Just unforgivable, and at the command of smarmy, water-filled Matt Striker.
You made it a loss, WWE pros.
I want more like this!
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