With baseball about 1/1000th of the way into its season, the Stanley Cup Playoffs starting tonight, and the NBA Playoffs right around the corner, I figured it’s as good of a time as any to bring back our nightly sports listings, so it’s not just one sentence and a picture of boobies. Although, I don’t think most of you would complain. It was also perfect timing with our friends from Vivid Cabaret in New York City celebrating the return of baseball, and especially the awesome tips that they receive from visiting ballplayers. Tip pun intended if you’d like it to be.
"I love baseball," purred Vivid Cabaret NYC Girl Zoe, "actually it's the players that I really love, haha!"
Vivid Cabaret NYC Girl Yvonne agreed, "Baseball players are good tippers--I can't wait to take my clothes off for some of the Yankees--they will be coming to Vivid Cabaret, I'm sure!" she promised.
"I danced last night for a famous baseball player and he was very nice," cooed Vivid Cabaret Girl Carmella, "but I'm not allowed to tell you who. We respect everyone's privacy."
Vivid Cabaret NYC Girl Summer had an opinion she wanted to share. "I like baseball--but I don't agree with the new instant replay rule. Please Mr. Commissioner, don't mess any more with America's game," she pleaded.
Vivid Cabaret is the sister club of our beloved Rick’s Cabaret, and they’re both the favorites of star athletes who prefer to keep their identities and generosities anonymous. But if I had to guess, every time they mention a baseball player, it’s probably Alex Rodriguez. That idiot has plenty of time on his hands.
UFC Fight Night: Bsiping vs. Kennedy – 7 PM ET on Fox Sports 1
Swing by for our live discussion, as I make a lot of bad jokes in between wonderful violence.
Cubs at Yankees – 7 PM ET on WGN
I hate interleague play early in the season. I also hate hate. I’m a hypocrite!
Mavericks at Grizzlies – 8 PM ET on ESPN
Clippers at Blazers – 10:30 PM ET on ESPN
It’s the final game of the season, and the playoffs are locked. In the end, the Suns finished 13 games over .500 and will watch four Eastern Conference teams with worse records make the playoffs, including the Hawks at 7 games below .500. Hell, the Timberwolves finished a game below .500, and they should be furious. But what’s the solution? You know, other than repeatedly pointing out that the majority of NBA executives are f*cking morons, and outside companies dictate where stars play based on endorsements, so there's always going to be an imbalance.
Stanley Cup Playoffs
Game 1: Canadiens at Lightning – 7 PM ET on CNBC
Game 1: Blue Jackets at Penguins – 7:30 PM ET on NBC Sports
Game 1: Stars at Ducks – 10 PM ET on NBC Sports
Good to see that nothing has changed and we not only still have overlapping playoff games, but one of them is on CNBC. Come on, Bettman. Just suck it up and kiss ESPN’s ass already. Sure, you might still have games on at the same time, but at least fans know where ESPN and ESPN 2 are located on their cable guide.