The Best and Worst of Impact Wrestling 5/1/14 and 5/8/14: Circus Plumbeus

By: 05.10.14

Worst: Bully Ray makes a plan

MVP won’t allow Bully Ray to lay a hand on Dixie Carter in the Impact Zone, so he’s moving onto the totally logical backup plan of going into the real world, trespassing on private property, and assaulting Dixie Carter in her own office. But look how cool he is! He listens to the rock music and wears sunglasses in the car! I listen to the rock music and wear sunglasses in the car! This is totally okay because I am focusing on and identifying with the correct message of this video!

Worst: Eric Young needs an opponent

Eric Young, in a riff on a Canadian tuxedo and his very best Cafepress self-promotional hat, needs an opponent. Bobby Roode wants to be that opponent. We need to understand that they’ve done stuff together in the past, but unfortunately none of it was “making people care about this in any way.”

Worst: Did someone say retrograde nonsense?

Well sh-t, I sure do feel empowered now!

Best: It WAS a good bow!

Oh Rockstar Spud, you are delightful and your suit compliments the office decor really nicely. Please, never stop being the sunshine on Impact’s otherwise cloudy day.

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