Worst: I Hope Batista Eats Dolph Ziggler Alive
First off, hey Renee, welcome back to Smackdown. Visit more often.
Secondly, shut it Dolph Ziggler. Your “I’m underappreciated so I’m going to say snarky passive-aggressive things on Twitter” character wearies me. Yeah dude, you’re pretty good when you’re shouting about how great you think you are, but when it comes to the hard stuff — actually carrying storylines and getting the audience to invest in you, you’re a flop. I don’t fondly remember, or really remember at all, a single feud you’ve been involved in. Since he’s returned Batista has brought me a lot more entertainment than you have you diaper-wearing goof.
Best: He did!
Only thing Dolph’s going to be showing off for a while is kidney bruising.
Oh, Batista — why do you always have to get so good right before you leave us? I’ve been on Team Batista from the moment he put on the newsboy hat and officially turned heel, but I’m loving the current incredulous, can’t be assed Animal. Nobody else in the company has the courage (or opportunity) to be such an unrepentant asshole heel in the ring. He stalls, he cowers, he ends the matches as soon as possible even when he’s in absolutely no danger, taking easy count out victories and low-blowing Ziggler when he’s going for his flailing corner punches. If Batista comes back again, he needs to be signed to a series of one-week contracts so he’s perpetually just about to leave the company.
Worst: Don’t Worry, Sheamus Will Never Lose Again
Recently Sheamus lost twice in one week and WWE has been frantically trying to make amends for it since with a parade of underserved title wins and smug effortless victories. Remember that time a couple weeks ago when Titus O’Neil got a in couple minutes of offense before being sucker kicked and pinned? Well don’t worry, they cut straight to the kick on Smackdown, with Sheamus beating Titus in around two-seconds. Sure, why not? Sub 30-second Brogue Kick victories have done a lot for Sheamus in the past, right?