The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 5/23/14: Si-Bo-Ling Rivalry

By: 05.24.14  •  39 Comments

Worst: Great Personal Skills

I think Vickie meant to say she has great interpersonal skills — “Personal Skills” is a heading on a resume, not a thing in and of itself. Still, I’d love to see Vickie’s personal skill tree. I imagine she’s pretty much maxed out the Verbal Combat branch, while leaving her Outfit Crafting skills sorely neglected.

Also, why was Adam Rose trying to shove his sucked on lollipop in Vickie’s mouth? I get that you’re a hedonistic party deity and all, but that’s just gross.



Worst: Is an Uso Going to Have a Rubber Dick Hanging Out of His Shorts on Raw?

So, at this point John Cena isn’t merely unafraid of the Wyatts — the more their threats escalate, the more fun Cena seems to be having. I haven’t seen Cena this goofy and pumped up since that time he restarted Santa’s heart by hurling a bowling ball into Alberto Del Rio’s junk. Does…does Cena think Bray Wyatt is Santa Claus? If so, Cena being so dead-set against people believing in Bray just took a dark turn.

Oh, and this Wolf of Wall Street chest thumping thing has to stop. WWE does realize Matthew McConaughey’s character in the movie was the devil incarnate leading Leonardo DiCaprio down the path of temptation, right? No, of course they don’t. And what’s with the amused, knowing looks from Renee whenever Cena and the Usos start up with this horrible douchiness? Did they just get done snorting coke off her butthole?

That said, that was quite the uncanny Rock impression by the Usos. Not only were the voices and cadence identical, but I swear their faces temporarily morphed into the Rock’s Black or White style. I’m pretty sure the secret lab in Stamford is preparing to fuse both the Usos’ heads to Roman Reigns’ body as we speak.

Best: Usos vs. Wyatts

The Cena/Wyatts feud may be a nightmare from which I fear I may never wake, but I’m not going to take that out on a match between WWE’s two best tag teams. The Usos in particular were on another level tonight, taking crazy face-first bumps into the ropes and casually going for over the turnbuckle splashes like it was nothing. Maybe that chest thumping actually works.



Worst: John Cena’s Back with a Vengeance!

You actually have to go somewhere or have been diminished in some small way to be back with a vengeance Cole. But yeah, don’t worry everyone, you can now enjoy your long weekend secure in the knowledge that John Cena is still 100-times tougher and smarter than the Wyatts. Phew!

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