The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 5/30/14: Gluten-Free Millennials

By: 05.31.14  •  25 Comments

Best: A Believable Distraction

I guess I didn’t notice because of general Tamina apathy (Taminapthy), but what I always thought was just random noise during her entrance music is actually guys chanting TA-MIN-A. That’s hilarious. Her music sounds like the theme song to some second-tier 90s cartoon. Is Tamina a Skeleton Warrior? Her shirt would make more sense if she was.

One reason (amongst many) that WWE distraction finishes are so frustrating is the fact that the distractor rarely does anything legitimately distracting. Some guy’s music plays, he moseys out and the person they’re feuding with is compelled to bug their eyes out in disbelief then yell up at the stage while leaning over the second rope with their butts sticking out in perfect roll-up position. It makes the person being distracted look like the dumbest, most irrationally angry person in the world.

That said, given the past couple weeks I don’t blame Paige at all for being distracted when Alicia Fox sashayed out. Hell, I was distracted the entire match. Usually when someone’s obviously out there to cause a distraction, I just try to ignore them and focus on the ring, but any time the camera wasn’t on Alicia I wanted it to be back on Alicia.

So yeah, I would have totally understood if Paige fell victim to the unbreakable distraction roll-up, but she didn’t! She weathered Alicia’s greatest weapon (doing crazy shit at ringside) and still beat Tamina’s ass. Nice to see Paige back on the ball after a few weeks of doing nothing much.



Worst: Sheamus Promos Are The Worst News of All

Renee did backstage interviews with both the mid-card champs, and boy, what a contrast. BNB was witty, well-spoken and subtly self-effacing, while Sheamus was humorless (aside from a terrible Gremlins joke), ignorant and ended on an awkwardly worded, kind of weird threat involving English teeth being kicked down throats. Why are top-level WWE babyfaces so preoccupied with forcing things down their opponents’ throats? So yeah, Sheamus still awful, news at 11.

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