Best: Three Ninjas Hair aka Hogan’s Best Heel Moment
Here’s the worst-kept secret of the Hogan heel turn: Hollywood Hogan was basically Hulk Hogan. Sure, people booed him and he was a tad more chickens*t but he basically did the same stuff he did when he was wearing red and yellow. He was still punching people the same, raking back and he always basically had a visual pin on his opponents at some point in the match to show that he’s still the baddest man around. For Hogan, the NWO wasn’t a vehicle for him to be a villain as much as it was a vehicle for him to be cool, which is the most important thing for Hulk Hogan.
But for some reason at Halloween Havoc, Hollywood Hogan went all-out heel and it was glorious. First of all he showed up in a spiked buzz cut thing-y he got while filming Three Ninjas and hyping his new movie SANTA WITH MUSCLES. Good God, that’s incredible.
Speaking of, here’s the trailer for said holiday movie.
Not only is Hogan wearing the spike haircut, he’s got hoop earrings in. It’s like Hogan finally understands what it means to be a heel and he’s acting accordingly instead of doing that one begging thing then kicking the hell out of his opponent. The match itself follows suit as Hogan actually sells like a champ the whole match, even getting his fake hair ripped off. It’s about as entertaining a Hollywood Hogan match as you’ll get – probably in large part due to Macho Man being a total maniac.
Then, of course, the star of the show Nick Patrick shows up to win the title and become the biggest heel star in the company.
The end. We all go home angry. Roll credits.
Worst: Senile D*ck Swinging Theatre
They don’t roll credits. Instead we get the bagpipes and Roddy Piper showing up as if any gives a damn. Correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think too many message boards were lighting up with “BRING RODDY PIPER TO WCW” threads. Despite Schiavone losing his mind, the pop was tepid at best and the segment falls off the rails immediately.
Piper and his “hey, guys I’m sort of shooting” thing is the absolute worst. Oooh look they mentioned WrestleMania. Hey, he’s talking about running THE ROADS. Guys, I think he’s talking about the WWF. And, hey, he said he taught The Giant to fight because I think The Giant is still maybe Andre The Giant’s son and Piper is creating his own backstory on his own. Then Hogan is all legit angry so he wants the last word and Piper is all SHUUUUT UP. Ugh. Basically, Piper’s promo is the Michael Scott improv technique of promos.
These two go so far off the rails that the damn pay-per-view cuts off while they’re still sword fighting their junk together in the ring. I can’t even begin to tell you how little I’m looking forward to watching Roddy Piper do anything in WCW.
I wonder if Brandon has anymore Hayley Williams GIFs.