Worst: Looking Your Own Mortality In The Face
Sable vs. Sunny was like the Bret Hart/Shawn Michaels feud for women minus the backstage fights that I know of and one person accusing the other of banging Sunny because that’d be weird. Still, they were the top dogs in their division and there seemed to be a competition going on. And while Sunny was Sunny and a way better talker than Sable, the writing was on the wall. This image is a woman realizing that her prosthetic leg thingy and gadgets can only get her so far and Bane is right around the corner.
Yes, I just sort of called Sable Bane. Wanna make something of it?
Best: The Holy Trinity
If you took a scan of my heart, it might show a picture of Pillman, Owen Hart and Steve Austin in the ring together cutting promos. The makeshift anti-Bret Hart clique (Hartbreakers? Hartbusters? Working on it) really should have been a thing that kept happening, but I’m sure Pillman’s volatility and injuries might have kept that from happening. Still, these guys complement each other on the mic to perfection.
Owen is a grade-A d*ckhead being totally smarmy, sarcastic and incredible while Pillman is all YOLO. Seriously, Austin gets credit for pushing the envelope but he really said “ass” a bunch. But Pillman would probably tell Anne Frank jokes in Germany to get heat. The art is that Pillman rarely comes off as desperate when he does it, though.
Then there’s Austin, who hits the ring with the swag of a thousand suns and runs Bret Hart down with his should-be-infamous Sh*tman promo. Oh, man, it just warms the cockles of my soul to see the Hollywood Blondes together again.
Best: Vince McMahon As Danny Tanner
You what’s never not funny? When Vince McMahon is all disapproving and apologetic about foul language. I’ll always laugh when Pillman or Austin are insinuating foul language and Vince talks over them with a “OHH OKAY THAT’S UNCALLED FOR” or “WE DON’T HAVE TO GO THERE.” The best though is when we can all tell the curse words are coming and Vince just goes “aaaahhhhh okay that’s unnecessary.” It’s like he’s willing the promo from the Gorilla Position and it’s instant comedy. He’s basically disapproving TV Dad hovering over the product, which should still be happening today.