You may say to yourself, “Why would I want to visit an internet sports website to watch a water aerobics instructor dancing to Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’?” And my response would be, “Why are you asking that question to yourself unless it is rhetorically because you already know why you would want to visit an internet sports website to watch a water aerobics instructor dancing to Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’.”
I am inclined to believe water aerobics is sports. Beyonce is sports. The “Single Ladies” dance is sports. I couldn’t trust my own judgment, though, so I needed to ask the world’s foremost authority on “Is This Sports?” And that would be Vice Sports Editor David Roth.
“This is a complicated one to me,” Roth said. “Because I keep getting sidetracked by, like, imagining this guy walking around doing normal things, and everyone just passing him by not knowing that he can do this stuff. If you think about it, really anyone you meet on the street could be someone who teaches vacationing people to do the ‘Single Ladies’ dance, in a pool. We just don’t know, Martin.”
“But is this sports?” I asked.
“It’s tough. Usually my standard for that is purity of expression. This is why animals are so good at Things That Are Sports. There is nothing but that, there. So I’ll just say that the part where he knocks out a split just for yuks is definitely sports. And the rest of it is borderline to me.”
So there you have it. Water aerobics instructor dancing to Beyonce is sports, but just barely, and only because he can do an unprompted split. But it’s still pretty dang impressive nonetheless.
(Via Time)
