When Tony Romo went down with a broken clavicle in Week 2 against the Eagles, it was hard not to immediately write off the Cowboys 2015 season as a lost cause. After all the hype going into the season, seeing both Dez Bryant and Romo go up in smoke really gave the rest of us some joy and severely hampered Dallas’ hopes. They should be back healthy later this year, but the question is will it be too late to save the season?
The NFC East is a flawed, messy painting that has fallen off the easel and hit the floor a few times. There is dirt and hair and trash stuck to the canvas now, but the artist will insist it was intentional. The Cowboys can hold their own here, and yet they haven’t. Brandon Weeden has come in to replace Tony Romo while Romo works on his papier-mâché, and the results have not been going well, despite whatever Jerry Jones coughs out of that wrinkled face.
Weeden has been far from awful filling in. With no expectations whatsoever, he’s managed to throw for a 72 percent completion rate and a 92.2 QB rating. He’s thrown two touchdowns and two interceptions. He’s not losing these games. The problem is he is not winning them, either. The Cowboys have gone 0-3 with him starting (including one loss to the dreadful Saints) and are worried they might not be able to keep up with the almighty 3-2 Giants, 2-3 Redskins, and 2-3 Eagles.
With the Boys entering their bye week, Jason Garrett said the team will re-evaluate the QB position, which means Brandon Weeden could very well be toast. So, what other options do the Cowboys have? Let’s take a look at some of the alternatives Jerry can stick behind the line to fail and make people love Romo more.
1. Matt Cassel
The obvious first choice is the Cowboys current backup to the backup. Matt Cassel has experience to get a good team to miss the playoffs (2008 Patriots) and to get a mediocre team to the playoffs before crapping his pants (2010 Chiefs). Of course, Matt Cassel has one major flaw: He is Matt Cassel. Benching Brandon Weeden for Matt Cassel would be like swerving out of the way of a speeding car only to rear-end a Hummer driven by a road-rage psycho without insurance. Who then starts taking his baseball bat to your vehicle.
2. Kellen Moore
He’s that “other” QB on the roster. He hasn’t seen an NFL snap and is only on the active roster because Romo shattered his bones. He played well at Boise State for four years. He’s obviously completely unproven, but that gives him two advantages: He is not named Brandon Weeden or Matt Cassel. The downside is that he could very well be worse. But hey, why not give him some snaps, just for giggles?
3. Rex Grossman
He’s a free agent. He’s probably younger than Brandon Weeden. He’s more experienced in the playoffs than Matt Cassel. He didn’t play at Boise State. He’s the Dragon made flesh. Rex Grossman is a perfect fit for the Cowboys if the Boys are truly in “f*ck it” mode. Everybody loves a hero, and there is nothing more heroic in football than the long bomb. Taking a shot, giving it your all, refusing to check down because you want to be the best even when it’s clearly a better option are American values. Stick the Sex Cannon behind an All-Pro line and watch the fireworks.
4. Tim Tebow
Tebow on America’s team, can you imagine? The ticket sales would solve the debit crisis. Jerry has to be salivating at the thought. Of course, the actual football product will still be garbage because Tebow is not a good quarterback, but seriously, think of how many jerseys you could sell. You could literally start your own country with that kind of money, which is something you’d think Texas would be excited about.
5. Christian Ponder
If Tim Tebow has a thought, is it a Christian Ponder? Ponder is bad and terrible and various other synonyms, but remember the Cowboys are currently starting Brandon Weeden and possibly Matt Cassel, so it’s not like it’s that outrageous to consider.
6. Matt Flynn
Matt Flynn is currently on a world tour. He’s been to Green Bay, Seattle, Oakland, Buffalo, New England, and New York (Jets). The man needs his airline miles. Let’s keep him going and give him that much-needed stop in Dallas.
7. Brett Favre
Why the f*ck not?
8. Tony Romo
He didn’t break his throwing shoulder. Rub some dirt on it, Romo. Get back out there like a real man. Don’t you know back when Brandon Weeden was your age, he had to throw incompletions with a broken sternum, the plague, and gout in the snow, uphill, at 5 o’clock in the morning?
