Let’s hear it for the NFL, everybody! The return of actual football games has, predictably, drowned out much of the noise over all the awful things with which the league is associated (and yet some people are still talking about Deflategate, somehow). It’s a wonderful cycle, where plenty of otherwise-intelligent people intentionally forget a laundry list of reasons not to watch this bloodsport because their fantasy league invites them back every year.
Well, the NFL has made it even easier to tune it all out and just watch football this year, because they’ve gone a full calendar month without a player arrest! It’s a miracle! No, really, this almost never happens:
https://twitter.com/RosenbergMerc/status/649631776533405696
https://twitter.com/RosenbergMerc/status/649667731680169985
https://twitter.com/RosenbergMerc/status/649705958428381184
https://twitter.com/RosenbergMerc/status/649691245648875520
https://twitter.com/RosenbergMerc/status/649636101720702976
We joke, but we’re seriously proud of NFL players for staying out of trouble. It’s a big league with lots of young players with money they don’t know what to do with, so arrests even for things as minor as public intoxication are to be expected from time to time. It’s so rare (and unlikely to repeat) that it’s impossible to say exactly why there weren’t any arrests. Maybe Roger Goodell’s draconian discipline is finally worki-BAAAHAHAHAHAHA I’M SORRY I CAN’T DO THIS.
As the NFL by-laws clearly state, if the league makes it two months in a row without an arrest, Goodell is forced to throw a big pizza party at the league office. And he’s not allowed to skimp on toppings, either. Fingers crossed.
(H/T Deadspin)
