Oy, How ‘Bout That Football Then? The Very Best From Premier League Matchday 8

Arsenal Man U
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In which we catch you up on the weekend in Barclays Premier League action across the pond.

Right, what’d I miss?

Arsenal showed they’re for real with a 3-0 victory against Manchester United, who had gone into the weekend at the top of the table. Manchester City beat Newcastle 6-1, thanks to the atomic explosion of Sergio Aguero, who scored five goals in 20 minutes.

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Liverpool tied their rival and then proceeded to fire their coach immediately afterwards, a fate that Joe Philbin probably doesn’t even think is possible. Brendan Rodgers, the former manager, is not the same as Brendan Rodgers, the Colorado Rockies player, but don’t tell Twitter that.

Liverpool are rumored to have a line on Jürgen Klopp, the former German maestro who left Bundesliga club Borussia Dortmund for a sabbatical at the end of last season. If true, it’s a fantastic upgrade.

Come on, soccer’s boring enough, don’t tell me about managers being fired. What about the damn games?

Right. Well, obviously the Arsenal-United game was big news. Arsenal are perennial top four finishers, but haven’t had a decent title run in years. United, too, are regularly in the top three or four, and Arsenal put two goals on the board within the first 10 minutes and a third before 20, and the game was off to bed. The result puts Arsenal and United tied on points for second in the table, with Manchester City only two points ahead after their 6-1 win against Newcastle. Which is the real game to talk about!

Newcastle played well and had taken the lead in the 18th minute, and City had only a stunning finish by Kevin De Bruyne to keep them in it. But then, just before halftime…

Holy sh*t! That’s really, really good, right?

Yes.

But wait, didn’t some guy score like five goals last month, in less time? Like-

Yeah, nine minutes. This guy. Yeah, that was in another league, a good league, and against a decent team, too. Whatever. That’s old news. We live in the now!

Fair enough. Moving on, gimme the goal of the week!

Well, you might see it differently in countdowns, but for my money, it was Willian’s free kick for Chelsea. Right in off the iron, it’s too bad it wasn’t enough to save Chelsea from yet another loss.

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Or maybe you like power more than finesse? If that’s the case, than this Alexis Sanchez goal is the one for you:

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And the rest?

Sure, here you go.

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Excellent. What’s up next?

Well, the league is actually on a break for next weekend, thanks to an official FIFA international date–basically, it’s a weekend in which national teams schedule either friendlies or qualifying games, and the league agrees to not schedule club games so that all their players can go play for their country. You’ll want to watch U.S.-Mexico on Saturday night at 9:30 p.m. ET on Fox Sports 1. It’s a one-off game to decide who represents our continent at the 2017 FIFA Confederations Cup in Russia. Without getting too detailed, it’s a small but high-quality tournament held the year before each World Cup in the same country as the World Cup. Also, the U.S. and Mexico have a super big rivalry.

Anything else?

Liverpool might not be the only team looking for a manager, if rumors come true. Chelsea, who’ve been atop the table for the past few years, are off to their worst start in the English top flight since the late ’70s with only eight points in eight games. Manager José Mourinho, famous for his arrogance, has taken an aggressive stance–but even he can’t avoid a sacking if it comes.

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