A Joke About How Caracter Sounds Like Character

What is it about pregnant ladies that makes athletes want to punch them so badly? Brian Giles of the San Diego Padres (allegedly) slapped his pregnant girlfriend in the face, shook and kicked her, and battered her into a miscarriage. This was caught on alleged video tape, where we could allegedly watch him do it. Elijah Dukes has been arrested for pretty much everything, including “aggravated assault on a pregnant woman.” I ain’t even bullsh:tting. And now Lakers rookie forward Derrick Caracter has been arrested in a House of Pancakes for getting drunk and hitting a pregnant waitress in New Orleans.

A report from the New Orleans Times-Picayune shares the details.

Derrick Caracter, 22, was arrested about 1:18 a.m. Sunday at the IHOP in the 800 block of Canal Street, said New Orleans Police spokeswoman Shereese Harper.

Caracter, a 6-foot-9 forward who was in New Orleans for the playoffs series, was drunk and acting disorderly inside the restaurant, police said.

He “started grabbing and pulling” a pregnant waitress, prompting the manager to go outside and flag down a police officer, Harper said. The female officer tried to defuse the situation, Harper said, but Caracter remained obstinate. The officer arrested him.

In terms of sports, Caracter hasn’t played a second in the Lakers’ series against the Hornets, so his arrested and hopefully ensuing shame won’t change anything for the team. In terms of everything else that matters in the world, Jesus Christ, dude, how awful of a human being do you have to be to hit a woman, much less a pregnant woman, much less a pregnant lady stranger at the IHOP? I’m not being Jay Mariotti here, I’m actually concerned.

UPDATE: According to ESPN, “hitting” has been downgraded to “shoving,” and

Police intially said the cashier was pregnant but later Monday changed their report to say that she wasn’t, according to The Times-Picayune in New Orleans.

So I guess she was just fat? Great reporting, New Orleans Times-Picayune.

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