During the 8th inning of the Baltimore Orioles’ 14-5 win over the New York Yankees yesterday, two fans ran onto the field and gave the Yankee Stadium security staff a little workout. One person who didn’t take too kindly to such shenanigans was Orioles outfielder Adam Jones, who had some words for the two men who were eventually tackled. Jones later said that he would have liked to have been the one doing the tackling, preferably by using his metal spikes to stick their stupid brains to the turf.
“I let them know how I felt, obviously a lot of choice words because I think it’s idiotic for people to run on the field and I think the punishment needs to be a lot harsher,” Jones said. “And they should let us have a shot to kick them with our metal spikes on because it’s stupid.
“You look like a [idiot] when you run on the field. We don’t go to any other events. We don’t go to other sporting events and do that to their jobs, but they come to ours and do that. I get it, you’re drunk and you want to be on ‘SportsCenter.’ Your [butt] is going to jail with a fine, and you might not be allowed to come back to the ballpark.”
“I remember a couple of years ago, one dude broke his ankle in Baltimore,” Jones said. “I was laughing at him. I wish he shattered his femur because it’s stupid. It’s just plain old stupid. Anybody who does it, I wish the cops tase the living [crap] out of them. I wish that.” (Via ESPN)
I mean, geez, Adam – tell us how you really feel! Seriously. Tell us more. Include graphic imagery about flamethrowers and those rabid, undead dogs from the Resident Evil movies ripping these people apart limb-by-limb, because I think it’s absolutely annoying, too. But some of you might argue, “It’s so much fun to watch the security guards run around and fall down!” I agree with that. It is fun. You know what’s more fun, though? Watching the security guard fall down while a player bitch slaps a douchebag for running onto the field. It’s really the complete package.
And I don’t want to give Boomer Esiason and Craig Carton more attention than they deserve, but Jones was also on the Boomer & Carton show this morning, and he further elaborated on his feelings after Carton BRO’d it up by throwing his arm over the mic, bros.
Good God, a pair of white sunglasses magically appears on the back of my head every time I watch a clip from that show.