10.08.08 9 years ago 18 Comments

An African soccer player died before a match on Sunday when he drowned in a crocodile-infested river.  Why was he in the river, you ask?  To help rid the team of evil spirits, of course.  Duh.

The Chronicle quoted unnamed sources as saying about 16 players from second division side Midland Portland Cement were told to swim in the Zambezi river in the resort town of Victoria Falls… “The technical team told every player to get into the river so that they could be cleansed of bad spirits,” it said…

“The area where the team was swimming is prohibited as the current is strong. The river is also infested with crocodiles and hippos,” said [police commander Peter] Rodzi.  Belief in the power of spirits is widespread in Zimbabwe and many African countries.

You wanna know why the belief in spirits is widespread?  Because there are goddam crocodiles and hippos in their rivers.  Once — JUST ONCE — I want a story to come out of Africa that isn’t about AIDS or genocidal civil war or terrifying deadly animals.  Or the genocide of animals with AIDS.  Those poor rhesus monkeys…

(thanks to handsome gentleman Jack for the tip)

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