As if newfound chosen son Amar’e Stoudemire didn’t already have enough on his plate, what with his decision to lead New York Knicks fans through the desert for at least the next five years, the star forward has been issued a challenge. Marc Gold wants to know just how Jewish Stoudemire really is. Having recently spent time in Israel tracing his Hebrew roots, Stoudemire has embraced his c’heritage and Gold – owner of Gold Food Products – wants to test his faith with a schtickle of kosher horseradish.
Gold’s challenge, should Stoudemire choose to accept it, is for the new Knick to take a tour of the Gold factory, where the horseradish is made, and to survive not only the production of the fakakta condiment, but also to devour a heaping serving on a nice chunk of matzoh. All without crying, vomiting or complaining, of course. But in fairness, he wouldn’t even be there if he wasn’t expected to complain about something. Probably the humidity, oy gevalt!
Let’s have a party and all dance the Hora, CNBC:
“We’ll guarantee Amar’e a lifetime supply of Gold’s Horseradish (red, white or extra hot cream style) for him and his family,” Gold said.
Gold said he’ll also donate ten cases of Gold’s condiments, including its mustard products, to a charity or food bank of Stoudemire’s choice for every Knicks win for the next two seasons. And Gold says he’ll step it up for the playoffs, which the team hasn’t played in since the 2003-04 season.
“We will provide twenty cases of mustard to the charity or food bank of Amar’e’s choice for each playoff win,” Gold said.
Sounds like quite the He-brutal challenge. *bowtie spins, yarmulke pops off, peyos curl up*
Gold Food Products is the official condiment provider for the New York Mets and the Islanders, so the CEO has a little experience in dealing with the Big Apple’s sports franchises. If anything, it’s a unique challenge that should provide some entertainment if Stoudemire is game, and even if he can’t handle horseradish, Gold will provide the 6’10” All-Star and his family with all the horseradish they need for Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year.
In related news, Vince Carter is trying to trace his Jewish roots so he can get more days off.