And You Guys Thought Kate Upton Was Fat

ashley-burns
Senior Writer
08.18.11 25 Comments

 

Arizona’s Susanne Eman is already a world record holder. She’s the fattest woman in the world. Currently, the 32-year old mother of two weighs in at 728 pounds, which is roughly twice the size of the Miami Dolphins’ offensive line. But she aspires to be so much more than the woman that she currently is, which is so rare and beautiful in this era. Instead of settling for the wavy curves that she’s already created, Eman wants to be the entire damn ocean. Her goal? To weigh 1,600 pounds.

That’s it? Why not just go for a ton if you’re that hellbent on dying by 35? As for how and why she’s doing it, of course The Sun has the answer.

Amazingly, her shape is a TURN-ON for some men and she models for super-size websites. Susanne, 32, said: “The bigger I get, the better I feel. I feel confident and sexy.

“Two years ago I hit 35st and noticed I had actually started attracting more men. It made me feel good. My goal is to be 57st by the end of the year. I should be 115st by age 41 or 42. “Why not see how fat I can get? I want to break the stigma that being fat is a bad thing.”

Susanne, from Casa Grande, Arizona, US, spends EIGHT HOURS filling six trolleys with food during her monthly supermarket shop.

The only redeeming quality that I can take away from this is that I really miss “Supermarket Sweep.” Otherwise, this is about the most depressing thing I’ve ever had the eerie pleasure of writing about, and I can only imagine how the starving children in Somalia would feel if they read this. Well, if they could read this. Hey, I can only solve one world problem at a time, folks.

UPDATE: For the inside joke on Kate Upton being fat, you’ll have to go back to my award-winning gallery’s comment section.

 

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Ashley Burns has written about movies, TV, and sports for UPROXX since the site's first day.

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