Back in the heyday of MTV’s hit ‘Jersey Shore,’ the cast had it all … autobiographies, Halloween costumes, WrestleMania apperances, fragrances … pretty much everything a temporarily famous person could want. Now we’re a few years removed from the Jersey Shore Thing and the orange, collectable doll-people we knew and sort-of loved are forced to make a living off of unpopular spinoff attempts and whatever Us magazine covers they can get for having babies. I wasn’t sure they’d bottomed out yet, but today that was confirmed when former cast member Angelina has challenged Snooki (or whoever will accept it) to a celebrity boxing match. It’s hard to type celebrity boxing without a bunch of sarcastic quotation marks. “Celebrity” “boxing.”
The challenge was thrown out on, of all places, FitnessRX Radio.
“I would love to fight Snooki in the ring,” Pivarnick said. “Bring it on.”
She continued, “She should remember where she came from. If it weren’t for me, she would have walked off that show. If it’s not her, have me and JWoww fight each other. You know what would be a hysterical fight? A fight between me and my replacement Deena. All of the above baby; bring it on.”
Translation: “I don’t have any money left and would like some more, please.”
The best part of the interview is the following line, which really puts the fights (and Angelina’s life) into perspective:
“Snooki’s such a big celebrity that she’ll decline the fight,” concluded Pivarnick,” because she’s scared of me.”
Careful what you wish for, lady, Snooki’s the female Don King.
If you aren’t familiar with the world of celebrity boxing, it’s usually reserved for psychotic people who have lost or never had marketable skills or fantasy hypotheticals between two actual celebrities that never materialize. I’ll let you figure out which one this is.
If this doesn’t work out, we can always set up Angelina vs. Bucky The Bear.