Barry Larkin To Start Sucking Now

Barry Larkin is heading to the monolith.

ESPN reportedly has lured the MLB Network analyst to Bristol for its coverage of the upcoming 2011 baseball season. The move has not been confirmed by either network, and it’s unclear what role the former Reds shortstop would play for his new employer.

I’d say that this is good news for those who currently don’t have MLB Network coming into their TVs and weren’t able to enjoy gems of Larkin’s analysis, like this video of how infielders will call for pitches, and sometimes unintentionally tip them to the opposition. But it’s not, because at ESPN, things like raising your voice and looking into a player’s eyes actually counts for analysis, and while their reporters are often given leeway to be great at their jobs, their analysts are not. Over there, it’s more like, “Oh, A-Rod! Red Sox! Derpy derpy derp!” It’s funny because that’s how they actually talk over there.

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