In case you haven't laughed at other people's pain enough today, here's evidence that maybe — just maybe — standing directly behind the dunk tank isn't the wisest idea. Even without positioning your inattentive head on the business end of the parabolic arc of a horsehide missile, county fairs are dangerous enough as it is. All those rickety rides and swindling carnies spell trouble. And if they don't get you, the funnel cakes will. Trust me on this one: no marching band fund raiser is worth what a funnel cake does to your intestines. You'll end up with a Jackson Pollock in your toilet.