Dolph is totally going to steal the hell out of the Wrestlemania pre-show.
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Okay, on we go…
Best: Triple H is Happy for You
It’s been said before, but Triple H really is good at being a condescending dick. Almost like he’s had some practice at it. Triple H comes out and the crowd kind of mindlessly Yeses him, so he makes them feel like assholes with a deft “Hmmm, yeah, bet that feels good”. He then goes on a spiel about how he’s been protecting Bryan all along, which isn’t true, but still, No chants aren’t quite the appropriate response, so robbed of their easy chants, the audience actually starts listening to what he has to say, at which points he drops the intense, match selling stuff about crushing everybody’s hopes and dreams. Why was Triple H never this good when he was doing this full time? I guess some guys just need 20 years and 13 world championships to get up to speed.
Worst: Let’s Abuse Damien Sandow For No Reason!
Unfortunately Triple H couldn’t make it through the opening segment without switching gears from harmless entertaining dickery to the more malignant variety by picking on Damien Sandow. Poor, sad-eyed, CM Punk physique without the tattoos Damien Sandow. This wasn’t a face turn for Sandow, so why devote a segment to Triple H dumping on him? Then The Shield, who are turning face, beat up on and triple powerbomb this poor shlub. I guess The Shield had to triple powerbomb somebody to set up the end of the show, but if that’s the case have Sandow come out and be a jerk rather than have the powerbomb be the final twist on a purple nurple Triple H started.
Best: Big E Wins A Match!
Dude’s as surprised as anyone…