The Best And Worst Of Smackdown 3/7/14: Sacrifices

By: 03.08.14  •  64 Comments

Seth Rollins would sacrifice anything for The Shield. For instance, he clearly gave up half his bottle of peroxide before bleaching his hair.

Pre-show Notes:

Likes, shares, tweets, comments, pins, I’ll take ’em all. Speaking of which, look at this nifty sharing button! Why don’t you give it a try?

– Follow WithLeather on Twitter and like it on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter too! If you like this review, I also write stuff every darn weekday for GammaSquad — we’re under “Geek & Sci-fi” on the navigation bar at the top of this page!

Okay, on we go…

Page 2
Subscribe to UPROXX

Worst: 15-minutes of Alberto Del Rio on Guest Commentary

No guest commentary match should ever go through a commercial break. First off, we know we’re heading for a garbage distraction finish, so don’t waste our time. The wrestlers know it too — I don’t think I’ve ever seen a really good match happen when somebody’s on guest commentary, because the guys in the ring know the announcers are going to be too busy Googling what a Skip-it is to actually call the match.

This rule is doubly true if it’s Alberto Del Rio on commentary. The guy doesn’t know what to say when he runs out of gringo perro talking points and both Cole and JBL are terrible to him. Cole because he’s a twisted little man who’s awful to everyone, and JBL because, well, you know why. So yeah, the commentary was insufferable, and the Christian/Ziggler match in the ring didn’t do much to distract. Well, except for Christian’s attempted imitation of Ziggler’s ass wiggling…


Hey, don’t laugh. Compared to most Canadian dudes, that’s some Step Up 2 The Street shit right there.

Best: Batista, Humble Man

I’m no wrestling historian, so somebody help me — who did Batista steal his “I’m a humble man, and I don’t need you to cheer me” line from? If he came up with that himself, then that needs to be the first clip in his eventual WWE Hall of Fame video package. Guys, heel Batista is so f–king good. It’s time to get over the “I think I’m going to get a Rock reaction and not have to do any work” Batista we saw at the Royal Rumble. Big Dave is actually being a real pro-wrestler now, and he’s knocking it out of the park. At least on promos he is. In the ring, well, at least he’s getting on base now.

Worst: Daniel Bryan, Total Butthole

Batista certainly squashed Daniel Bryan on the mic tonight.

For some reason WWE thought it would be a good idea the have Daniel Bryan (the guy who constantly argues the point that his looks and grooming shouldn’t matter) attack Dave Batista’s sartorial choices. Batista hits close to home with a remark about how Bryan is just a fan they let into the locker room and all Bryan can come back with is, “Yeah, well, you wear skinny jeans like a woman!” Yeesh. If you’re going to rag on a guy’s outfit, maybe don’t do it while wearing a faded grey hoodie and red Underoos.

Also, Batista doesn’t dress badly. Batista dresses obnoxiously. He’s the guy who makes all the guys at the bar groan, but then goes home with the ladies. Now Daniel Bryan, he dresses badly, and him snarking about what Batista’s wearing just makes him come off as petulant. Like a kid at the nerd table in the cafeteria chortling about how all the football players and cheerleaders at the popular table are so dumb and shallow. Right kid, you’d never want to be like them. Sure you wouldn’t.

Around The Web


From Showman To Shaman: How An Assassination Attempt Changed Bob Marley’s Life And Music

From Zero To Guitar Hero, Meet The Small-Town Musician Who’s Well On His Way

Hannibal Buress On ‘Comedy Camisado,’ Animation, And Doing Stand-Up In Japan

Phil Matarese And Mike Luciano Talk ‘Animals.’ And Creating Television In Their Apartment

‘Black Sheep’ Revisited: The Farley-Spade Classic That Could’ve Been, 20 Years Later

EAT THIS CITY: Chef Callie Speer Shares Her ‘Can’t Miss’ Food Experiences In Austin, Texas

Kimbo Slice Is Down To Fight Kurt Angle And Roy Jones, Jr. As Soon As He Settles His Business At Bellator 149

By:  •  2 Comments

A Top Recruit Michigan Landed On Signing Day Isn’t Who You Think He Is At All

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. On How His Personal Ancestry Obsessions Led To ‘Finding Your Roots’

Love Books? Plan A Trip To The Most Literary City In The Country

What The Shot-For-Shot Remake Of The ‘Magnum P.I.’ Intro Tells Us About ‘Archer’ Season 7

By:  •  2 Comments

‘The Most Badass Event’: Experiencing A Truck Race On A Ski Mountain, Which Is As Crazy As It Sounds