07.18.08 9 years ago 7 Comments

Two guys in D.C. had a bet going on which of their favorite teams, the Milwaukee Brewers and the Philadelphia Phillies, would have a better record during the 2007 season. The Phillies finished four games ahead of the Brew Crew, so in accordance with their wager, Chris Jollay had to live on the streets for a week, therefore increasing the District's ironic homeless population to 23. There are a lot of those in Northwest apparently.

According to the bet, Jollay was allowed to carry one bag of items. Christman approved all of the items. Jollay says, he carried 12 power bars and 100-calorie snacks, a disposable camera, $20 dollars, contact lens, a marker and pen, and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

That's really roughing it, buddy. What's that disposable camera for? Perhaps to capture his sexual deviant assailants? You fool, they'll just burn the camera along with your mangled corpse. From Jollay's douchey personal journal:

Had to hightail it out of Dupont after class last night.  Some gay guy wanted to know if I was on a camping trip–I told him there was no way I'm pitching a tent here.  Anyway, stying clear of Dupont from now on at night.  Way too gay, and my homeless getup and A Pokemon backback I think makes them think I am desperate for money and half retarded; a combination no sex starved deviant can resist.

Actually, the homeless people in Dupont mostly just sit around and play chess in the circle. The gay people are the ones who own homes and have money. Also in need of clarification: there's no way a Pokemon backpack confers anything less than full-on retardation. I hope this was a learning experience for you.

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