C.C. Staying In New York, Wants To Thank You For All The Fat Jokes

Despite a rumor that had him pitching for a team that doesn’t make me want to kill myself, New York Yankees ace C.C. Sabathia jumped on the Internet on Halloween night to post a YouTube video announcing his brand new — and dare I say, fat — contract extension. The particulars of the deal, from Rumors and Rants:

The New York Yankees have reportedly agreed to a new deal with left-handed hurler CC Sabathia that will add $30 million to his existing contract. Sabathia had the opportunity to opt out of his deal this offseason and this move ensures that he will be in the Bronx for the near future.

Sabathia had until midnight to opt out of his current pact, which had $92 million remaining over the next four years, as he was scheduled to make $23 million each of the next four seasons. The new deal will add a year to the deal (2016) at $25 million, and gives the Yankees a $25 million option year in 2017, with a $5 million buyout. So basically the Yankees guaranteed Sabathia an extra year and at least an extra $30 million to convince him to stay.

C.C., the guy who took out a big ad in the newspaper thanking Cleveland Indians fans for not completely turning on him until he’d left the room, didn’t mention how the contract makes 2017 guaranteed if he spends x-amount of time off the disabled list or any of the particulars you might scan the wire for … he just wished us all a Happy Halloween, thanked the Steinbrenner family for making his literal and figurative never-ending buffet of financial success a reality, and said how excited he was to see everyone (even Greg Golson?) at the ballpark next year. I know he plays for the Evil Empire and all, but I feel like if you hate C.C. Sabathia, you might be doing it wrong.

You can watch the video below. Warning: It is a blonde wig and some karaoke song lyrics away from being a Shaq video.

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