Saturday saw the beginning of the Clericus Cup, a sixteen-team tournament in Rome that pits priests and seminarians from all over the world against each other.
Amid screams from the coaches, pious slogans from the small crowd and T-shirts invoking the protection of the Virgin Mary, a motley crew of Latin Americans, Africans and Asians from the Collegio Mater Ecclesiae (Mother of the Church College) took on an all-Brazilian team fielded by the Gregorian University.
In a miraculous upset, the young Mater Ecclesiae players trounced the more experienced but portly Brazilians 6-0 as their fans chanted: "The Mother of the Church wants a goal!"
Ha ha. Where's your Messiah now, fatties? God's obviously punishing them for being born Brazilian and choosing a vow of celibacy.