AL — The Red Sox clinched a playoff berth by beating Cliff Lee and the Indians 5-4. Jonathan Papelbon notched his 41st save, then soaked David Ortiz with a big blast. Of champagne, that is. Then they had lots of gay sex… Javier Vazquez, chastised by manager Ozzie Guillen for not being a big-game pitcher, went out and delivered four innings of five-run ball as the Twins cruised to a 9-3 victory that pulled them to within 1½ games of the division lead. Way to motivate your guy, Ozzie… The Rays got their first-ever doubleheader sweep, dropping their magic number to two… Oh, and the Yankees are officially out of the playoff race. **pops champagne**
NL — A heroic outing from Johan Santana got the Mets to within a game and a half of the Phillies (who lost to the Braves), thus sparking some faint hope in Mets fans’ hearts, which will make their ultimate collapse so much more painful. Sorry New Yorkers, but you know it’s true.