05.12.08 9 years ago 20 Comments

What better way for second-tier athletes and second-tier sports to help each other's causes by ginning up a little pointless spectacle? Over the weekend, wizzenedtits Pamela Anderson and Dallas Cowboys shitferbrains Tony Romo, who boasts the ability to be both horrible at gambling and choosing a future wife, got involved in some senior circuit hollow formality funtime.

Pamela Anderson-Lee-Terwilliger-Nahasapeemapetilon joined the likes of Marisa Miller and Lisa Guerrero as minor celebs who have thrown out the first pitch at Chavez Ravine this year. No official report on how the pitch went, but I imagine it bounded in super slow motion to the theme of "Baywatch". Pamela brought her litter of Tommy Lee striplings, none of whom look as though they've ever received a haircut, like, ever. Maybe they'll work that in when they eventually make an Oedipal sex tape with mom to revive her career in five years.

Elsewhere, Romo was booed lustily by Cubs fans in Wrigley, dressed in Bears hoodies to protect themselves from dignity. Rival team aside, don't they know Romo is a kind innocent midwestern boy who can't warble through a verse to save his life? After the jump is the gruesome footage.

Sweet Jeebus. He sounds like the squeaky voiced teenager from The Simpsons. "Let's get some runs! As long as that's okay! Sorry sir! I earned three medals for this!" Nice to make the crowd do all the work for you. Saving that voice for barking at your linemen four months from now?

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