China Is Rewarding Frank McCourt

Senior Writer

In news that should make blue collar Americans vomit all over their unemployment checks, embattled Los Angeles Dodgers owner Frank McCourt, who is reportedly close to $550 million in debt while he publicly struggles with his humiliating divorce, has been offered $1.2 billion for his team. According to the Los Angeles Times, the offer is straight cash, homey, and is being proposed by Bill Burke, who heads up the L.A. Marathon.

Now I’m sure you’re wondering, “Hey Burnsy, aren’t you worth $1.2 billion and how can the guy who runs a marathon afford that much cash?” Well, the answers are much more and he can’t. That’s why the most of that money is coming directly from the People’s Republic of China. Of course that has some people coughing, “Bullsh*t.”

The bid was received with skepticism within MLB, where executives wondered whether the proposal might be used by McCourt to stir negotiations with other potential buyers or to persuade a Bankruptcy Court judge to keep McCourt in charge of the team.

“There are questions within the sports industry about whether this is a genuine offer,” said one industry consultant who works extensively with MLB and other professional sports leagues.

Let’s pretend for a second that this offer is legit and Bud Selig and the MLB approve the sale. McCourt bought the team in 2004 for $430 million. He and his wife ran the team into the ground with management that would make Congress laugh, to the point that he owes more than half a billion. Of course, he won’t profit and is still a loser if this deal goes through, since he’ll still have to settle his divorce and split everything with his wife.

But he could still make out with a few hundred million, which is just downright depressing when you think about how this jackass is falling ass backwards into salvation. Lane Kiffin is going to have to pull a miracle out of his ass to top this and maintain his title as the Most Undeserving Successful Guy in Sports.

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