Carlos Delgado's agent, David Sloane, took a bit of an issue with some information about Delgado's contract in a notebook item that appeared Sunday by Dan Graziano of The Star-Ledger of New Jersey. The issue being, well, known only to Sloane.
The writer and agent had a tense e-mail back-and-forth that only kept confirming what Graziano originally wrote was accurate: that Delgado is being paid $16 million this season by the Mets, $4 million of which comes from a 2009 buyout option and another $4 million of which comes from the Marlins as a condition of the 2005 trade that sent the first baseman to New York.
Soon, as any good e-mail argument should, it degraded to childish insults. Tiring of arguing in circles, the writer laid out the facts one more time, leaving the slightly arch closing, "I won't hold my breath waiting for your apology." Then things got innerestin':
"Apologize this retard, he's making 16 this year WITH an option for next year @ 16 or a buyout @ 4. Nice research by you but then I guess that whole concept of fact finding escapes you huh? They didn't teach that on the short bus did they?"
Sucks for Sloane that they did teach cutting and pasting of e-mails on the short bus, however. (ME WAS HEAD OF CLASS! ME GOTS CHOCOLATE SUNDAE!) Graziano kept his composure, replying that he thought Sloane was "a funny guy," to which the agent whipped out this handy chestnut:
"So's your Mom."
BOOSH! Bombs on your moms, Graziano. All this time you thought she was a loving, caring woman with varied moods and behaviors. Turns out your mom is just a funny dude. Geez, now that you mention it, I wish Dave Attell was my mom.