08.27.07 10 years ago 23 Comments

Bears linebacker Lance Briggs's $350,000 black Lamborghini roadster was found wrapped around a light pole at 3:15 this morning on the Edens Expressway, and the facts are as follows:

  • The driver of the vehicle was unharmed and left the scene of the accident.
  • It is unknown whether the driver was Briggs.
  • The car was not reported stolen.
  • Police are meeting with Briggs today to learn more.
  • For $350,000, I would have expected better gas mileage.

Pretty obvious what happened here: someone crashed the car. That means the only other question is… which one is Edens Expressway again?  Is that 90?  290?  94?  Which one is the Dan Ryan?  Goddamn Chicago.  Only damn city in America where numbers aren't good enough.


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