As you may have heard, University of Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans was arrested and charged with DUI last Wednesday. A DUI is a pretty douche move in and of itself, but Damon will go down in the douche hall of fame for what he said while being pulled over.
“I am not trying to bribe you but I am the athletic director of the University of Georgia,” Evans said. –USAToday
He wasn’t hoping to bribe them. Jones was hoping that he wouldn’t need to because he’s the athletic director of Georgia. As such, he’s immune from all of the “laws” and “rules of civilization” that we common people have to follow. He would never stoop as low as someone like Charles Barkley he has far too much respect for his wife.
Evans refused a breathalyzer test, but he also had a passenger in his 2009 BMW that Atlanta police felt compelled to transport to jail — 28-year-old Courtney Fuhrmann.
Fuhrmann, of Atlanta, was also arrested for disorderly conduct. Evans described her as “just a friend,” according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. –USAToday
Ms. Fuhrmann (pictured to the left img) was simply a friend in need of some assistance, much like the pot my parents found in my closet when I was 17 was my friend’s that I was going to throw away for him. Apparently her underwear had become too bothersome for her to deal with under her own power, luckily she had Evans there to give her a helping hand.
In the report, the officer noted he found a “red pair of lady’s panties between (Evans’) legs.” When he asked Evans, a 40-year-old married father of two children, what he was doing with the underwear, Evans said: “She took them off and I held them because I was just trying to get her home.”
Evans told the officer that Fuhrmann was nothing more than a friend, according to the report. But the officer said that Fuhrmann later told him that the two had been seeing each other for “only a week or so.” –ESPN
The suits at Georgia weren’t too pleased with the alleged drunken philandering, and despite a public apology, the AD is expected to be relieved from his duties sometime today. Thank God we live in a country where someone in power has to deal with the consequences of their actions. I think I’d rather ride shotgun with Toonces than this asshole. Toonces doesn’t need to be an AD to get away with drunk driving. Driving cats can just meow their way out of anything these days. What a rebel.