A Pack Of Polite Mongooses Invaded A PGA Event And Followed The Rules Of Golf Etiquette

11.10.16 3 weeks ago • 2 Comments

When you think about it, it’s a minor miracle animals don’t storm golf courses more often. When you think about it even deeper, how has an animal not ever killed a golfer? We have carved into the homes of animals all over the world and yet you’ve never heard about a bear or puma eating Phil Mickelson. Heck, you never hear about a bear trying to eat Phil Mickelson. Why are bears cowards?

I’m pretty sure a mongoose could rip your face off it felt like it, yet 20 of them walked onto the green at a European PGA event and not only did so peacefully, but did so without touching the ball on the green. I don’t know if animals have gone soft in 2016 — are animals something else millennials have RUINED??? — but if you’re not going to maul a dude with a polo shirt tucked into khakis, at least steal his ball.

Another thought I had — why was this allowed to air on TV? If a fan runs on the field at a football game, cameras cut away for fear of glorifying trespassing. But 20 nude mongooses streak across a golf course and it’s all over the airwaves? Won’t this embolden other animals to run naked across sporting events? Wait, did that squirrel cause this? What’s next? A nude duck resting on a pond at a golf event? That happens already? HOW WILL I EXPLAIN THE NUDE ANIMALS TO MY KIDS?

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