Daniela Hantuchova advanced to the finals of the Pacific Life Open by defeating Li Na 7-5, 4-6, 6-1 yesterday.
At the end of the 2-hour, 20-minute match when temperatures on the court topped 100 degrees, Hantuchova thrust her arms skyward, then beamed as she waved to the crowd.
What a coincidence, this is how women react after a love-making session with me. Although there isn't a crowd, but perhaps there should be. Who wouldn't want to watch a pale Irishman pleasure a woman? Regardless, I have to be honest, I've never heard of this comely tennis star before, and, although she isn't in the Kournikova or Sharapova league, she definitely passes the strenuous KD test.* Sure I've just imbibed my fourth Guinness on this holiest of days (breakfast is the most important meal of the day), but alcohol has never effected your trusty Assistant Editor's judgment of beauty. Let's see what lovely Daniela had to say after her match:
"I definitely felt like I had the edge in the third set. I felt very, very good," said Hantuchova, a willowy 5-foot-11, 123-pounder. "I changed my dress, tried to drink a lot and had a banana and just tried to stay calm and stay cool."
Mmm, that was nice daydream. Maybe it's just me, but I love to think about tall, athletic ladies changing their clothes with phallic-shaped objects near their mouths. Plus Daniela has the stamina to go three "sets". -KD
*Is she a semi-attractive woman? If yes, attempt to sleep with her. If no, have a drink and re-evaluate.