While all those other European national teams are busy with Euro 2008, English soccer stars continue with their rigorous off-season of getting tan. Liverpool's god of the pitch Stephen Gerrard is on vacation in Miami with wife Alex Curran-Gerrard, who worships his credit cards. It's good to see Stephen still asserting himself with his wife, even if he IS using one of my textbook moves. Girls like it when you grab their ass and make a big fart noise. Especially girls lying next to muscular dudes with cauliflower ear. Seriously, try it sometime. You'll get so much tail, dude.