Kirk Cousins, man. This dude is such a dork. He makes Eli Manning look like the Dos Equis guy. A little more than a year after his voice-cracking “You Like That?” moment, he attempted to be an intense hard guy to general manager Scot McCloughlan after Washington’s 42-24 win over Green Bay on Sunday night.
Most people will point to the subtext of asking your GM that was only willing to give him a one-year ($20 million!) deal last offseason, “How You Like Me Now?” Heck, it’s probably not even subtle or deep enough to be considered subtext. “I just whistled three touchdowns and 375 yards around your stupid field, so I must ask the question, kind sir, how do you like me as a quarterback now?” It’s all right there.
But really, why wouldn’t McCloughlan like Cousins exactly the same as he did before the game?
Does anyone recall the events leading to the “You Like That?” moment of last season. Does anyone remember who Cousins beat that day? The damn Tampa Bay Buccaneers, man. The crap-ass Bucs who went 6-10 last season and jumped to a 24-7 lead at halftime because Cousins didn’t do a damn thing in the first half. He threw for 94 yards and lost a fumble that was returned for a touchdown, and he had the nerve to ask if people liked that.
Oh, you had one good half against a bad team? You did your job real well against a poor team for 30 minutes? Do I like that? No, I’m indifferent to it.
It’s more of the same Sunday night. Buddy, Kirk, you know this isn’t a championship Packers team, right? Marcus Mariota gouged this team a week ago and didn’t wait around until the second half to do so. He also had a better QB rating (96.2-95.7) and put up five more points, so maybe calm down here. You don’t see Mariota pounding his chest like he just won a conference championship game. Congrats on hitting wide-open dudes thanks to busted coverages.
Imagine getting this pumped about beating a team that throttled you in a playoff game on the same field 11 months ago, only that team is a shell of itself defensively.
And where are you coming up with these things to yell? You Like That? How You Like Me Now? Is there an Interrogative Dorks Weekly magazine I don’t know about it? What’s next? Kirk Cousins is Eli Manning if Eli Manning tried to be cool.
Anyway, thanks for helping my fantasy team this week.