SITE NEWS: I’ll be on Walkoff Walk tonight as a guest live-blogger for the Home Run Derby Tonight. That starts at…8? Let’s say 8.
Nobody wants to play in it. Nobody wants to watch it. Nobody’s happy with which players made the team and which didn’t. And the jerseys they make for this thing are uglier than any shirt Chris Berman has ever worn on the golf course. Wouldn’t the whole mission of an All-Star Break be better suited if…there was an actual break? No? All right, then allow me to offer the following alternatives to make these three days more fun for everyone.
1. Make it an international game. Take one MLB team and pit it against one of Japan’s Nippon League teams, who typically have their All-Star game around the same time of year. Make it an MLB team that either made or narrowly missed the playoffs the previous year. If Japan wins, then we hold all seven games of the World Series in Japan.
2. Make it a money game. ESPN anchor and noted otter owner John Buccigross had this idea for the NHL: Dump 15 million dollars on the field behind home plate and say, “Come and get it. Winners take all.” Play with 25-man rosters and the AL and NL coaching staffs that lost their respective championship games the previous year. Fill the teams like unions do–based on seniority. You don’t want to play? Fine. Give another guy a crack at the cash.
3. Play Flag Football instead. Football’s more awesome than baseball anyway. And yet softball is more awesome than football. Maybe they should play softball. With a big keg of Bud Light right next to the pitcher’s mound. Bud Light probably has a better ERA than Tim Wakefield, anyway.