USA Today has a feature article on one of the two redeeming pieces of the Seattle Mariners organization, Ichiro Suzuki. Ichiro has been known to offer the occasional strange quote that somehow feels lost in translation, but as the USS Mariner points out, some of these really stand out:
On performance-enhancing drugs: “When you take steroids, it’s not as if wings grow out of your back, and you start flying all over the place and stealing home runs (from hitters).
No kidding. Although that would make testing a lot easier. "No wings? Okay, you're clean."
Tiger Woods’ athleticism: “Tiger is a great golfer, but … when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about (golfers or race-car drivers), I don’t want to see them run. It’s the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she’s an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed.”
The distance traveled by that quote is amazing. It's a transcontinental train of thought. But seriously, I won't tolerate some gutterball-throwing broad. I've got league night, and I'll be damned if she's gonna bring down the team's average.