It’s Not Too Late To Place Your Vote For The 2011 Hambone Award

Senior Writer
09.16.11 10 Comments

As perfectly awesome as my dog is, I’ve always been hesitant to purchase pet insurance for her, because I figure she’s immortal and nothing will ever hurt her. But then I started thinking, “Well what if she’s like a Highlander dog and another Highlander dog comes looking for her? She could get hurt while kicking its ass.” But even with that rock solid logic, I still sort of ignored the idea.
But the other day I happened across a little contest that made me realize that dogs are pretty stupid, no matter how cool they are. The people at VPI Pet Insurance at least have a pretty good sense of humor about how stupid animals can be, as they have been running the Hambone Award for a few years now, and people can nominate their pets for their stupid injuries and subsequent insurance claims. Then the public votes on the top choices and the winner gets a trophy and a tummy rub.
So I figured we could close out this lazy Friday on a high note, since Mike Tyson made sure that our wombs were all shifted first thing this morning, and check out the rundown of this year’s Hambone nominees.

Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Pug
Reason for Nomination: He ate more than 100 small stones and began pooping rocks.
Name: Harley
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Dachsund
Reason for Nomination: He was attacked by a seagull that was possibly trying to eat him.
Name: Stella Artois
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Black Lab
Reason for Nomination: She got a can of green beans stuck on her lower jaw.
Name: Eddy
Type of Pet: Cat
Breed: I don’t know, cat cat
Reason for Nomination: Eddy was chasing a fly and jumped onto the stove. Too bad the burners were on.
Name: Teuer
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Jack Russell Terrier
Reason for Nomination: Couldn’t run fast enough under the garage door and was pinned down and trapped.
Name: Chico
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Chihuahua
Reason for Nomination: Chico was out for a walk with his owner, who turned away momentarily as a great horned owl tried to fly away with Chico. Luckily, the owner won.
Name: Gus
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Reason for Nomination: He ate a few trays of Christmas cookies and an entire plate of fudge while his owners were out watching a Green Bay Packers game.
Name: Tobey
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Reason for Nomination: Tobey locked onto a sprinkler head and just allowed gallons of water to fill up his stomach.
Name: Howie
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Toy Poodle
Reason for Nomination: Swallowed an acorn, passed out and turned blue from suffocation. Once the acorn was passed, Howie went home and chased more acorns.
Name: Moose
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: English Mastiff
Reason for Nomination: Snuck up on a mule in an open field and the mule kicked him square in the head.
Name: Balboa
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Pug
Reason for Nomination: Suffered temporary blindness after he attacked a Southern Walking Stick and it sprayed its venom in his eyes.
Name: Sadie
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Golden Retriever
Reason for Nomination: Sadie was investigating a disturbance in the neighbor’s bushes, when a 20-pound otter bit her nose and latched onto her face.

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