It’s Not Too Late To Place Your Vote For The 2011 Hambone Award

09.16.11 6 years ago 10 Comments

As perfectly awesome as my dog is, I’ve always been hesitant to purchase pet insurance for her, because I figure she’s immortal and nothing will ever hurt her. But then I started thinking, “Well what if she’s like a Highlander dog and another Highlander dog comes looking for her? She could get hurt while kicking its ass.” But even with that rock solid logic, I still sort of ignored the idea.
But the other day I happened across a little contest that made me realize that dogs are pretty stupid, no matter how cool they are. The people at VPI Pet Insurance at least have a pretty good sense of humor about how stupid animals can be, as they have been running the Hambone Award for a few years now, and people can nominate their pets for their stupid injuries and subsequent insurance claims. Then the public votes on the top choices and the winner gets a trophy and a tummy rub.
So I figured we could close out this lazy Friday on a high note, since Mike Tyson made sure that our wombs were all shifted first thing this morning, and check out the rundown of this year’s Hambone nominees.

Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Pug
Reason for Nomination: He ate more than 100 small stones and began pooping rocks.
Name: Harley
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Dachsund
Reason for Nomination: He was attacked by a seagull that was possibly trying to eat him.
Name: Stella Artois
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Black Lab
Reason for Nomination: She got a can of green beans stuck on her lower jaw.
Name: Eddy
Type of Pet: Cat
Breed: I don’t know, cat cat
Reason for Nomination: Eddy was chasing a fly and jumped onto the stove. Too bad the burners were on.
Name: Teuer
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Jack Russell Terrier
Reason for Nomination: Couldn’t run fast enough under the garage door and was pinned down and trapped.
Name: Chico
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Chihuahua
Reason for Nomination: Chico was out for a walk with his owner, who turned away momentarily as a great horned owl tried to fly away with Chico. Luckily, the owner won.
Name: Gus
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Reason for Nomination: He ate a few trays of Christmas cookies and an entire plate of fudge while his owners were out watching a Green Bay Packers game.
Name: Tobey
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Reason for Nomination: Tobey locked onto a sprinkler head and just allowed gallons of water to fill up his stomach.
Name: Howie
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Toy Poodle
Reason for Nomination: Swallowed an acorn, passed out and turned blue from suffocation. Once the acorn was passed, Howie went home and chased more acorns.
Name: Moose
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: English Mastiff
Reason for Nomination: Snuck up on a mule in an open field and the mule kicked him square in the head.
Name: Balboa
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Pug
Reason for Nomination: Suffered temporary blindness after he attacked a Southern Walking Stick and it sprayed its venom in his eyes.
Name: Sadie
Type of Pet: Dog
Breed: Golden Retriever
Reason for Nomination: Sadie was investigating a disturbance in the neighbor’s bushes, when a 20-pound otter bit her nose and latched onto her face.

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