07.27.07 10 years ago 32 Comments

In an unexpected development, Jeremy Shockey spent his last night before training camp at the strip club.  Shockey took a bunch of teammates to Scores in preparation of the Giants' upcoming 7-9 season.

One dancer told Page Six, "Jeremy said he was being the big brother and treating them all to a night of fun. This was going to be their last chance to stay out late." "Jeremy is the coolest," said Scores dancer Devin. "He complimented me on my new boob job, which makes me a 36D."

Women are putty in the hands of a silver-tongued smooth talker like Jeremy Shockey.  He's like a combination of James Bond and Oscar Wilde, except wittier and 100% straight.

Perhaps one day I'll graduate to the level of complimenting strippers' breast implants.  I usually try to distract them with something shiny, or if I have coke, I say, "I have coke!"  Then I'm Mr. Popular.  Even Ruby loves me back for the next twenty minutes or so.  Which, really, is more than enough time.

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