If you’ve been looking for the worst possible way to celebrate the warrior spirit of your favorite MMA fighter, look no further: eBay user “strong67” is auctioning off a wooden shard from the telephone pole UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon ‘Bones’ Jones got drunk and drove his Bentley into last month.
From the auction, currently topping out at $36:
Well, I’ve heard people sell & buy crazy things, so I’m going to test that theory now… This is a piece of telephone pole wood that was knocked off when Jon Jones crashed into it w/ his Bentley on the corner of Grand Blvd & Helen St. in Binghamton on May 19th,2012… It measures about 14 inches long & actually has a “crashed smell odor” to it… It is about an inch wide in the middle & then narrows out at the ends… One pic shows the wood piece & the other pic shows the actual pole which is cracked near the bottom & now supported by wood beams… This is a good conversation piece & definitely WAY more interesting than his last fight… Maybe you can get him to sign it someday, but you may need to use it as protection if he throws a flying elbow your way rather than an autograph :o)
If his least favorite thing about fighting is being asked to sign replica belts, I’m sure “would you please sign this garbage I bought on the Internet from that time you almost killed yourself and others” will go over well. Especially if you mention how the debris you paid 10 extra bucks to have safely mailed to you still sorta smells like his f**ked-up car.
If you bid on this and win it, let us know what you do with it. If I won it, I’d fly to Binghamton and glue it back into the telephone pole. I’m not going to bid on it, though, I’m saving my money for strong67’s “authentic bone shard from Arianny Celeste’s boyfriend’s nose” auction.
[h/t to Maggie Hendricks @ Cagewriter]