One of the reasons that social media sucks is because people think that their friends actually want to see pictures of their kids. Sites like Facebook and Twitter were actually created as platforms for people to post pictures and videos of animals dressed as humans; however, they’ve been largely hijacked by people with stupid, smelly children that give nothing back to society. Those kids need to get off their asses, learn how to speak (English preferably), go outside and GET JOBS.
But some parents actually make their dumb, booger children enjoyable, and one of those parents is UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon “Bones” Jones. Jones became a father for the third time, as his daughter Olivia was born yesterday morning. Naturally, Jones Tweeted through most of the ordeal, as his significant other, Jessie Moses*, popped out their third daughter in one push.
According to Jones, in the most Jon Jones way imaginable, little Olivia is doing just fine.
Guys Liv is so pretty! She has a head full of hair and is sucking on this tit like a champ
— Jon Bones Jones (@JonnyBones) March 4, 2013
Jones is obviously slated to fight Chael Sonnen next, after the conclusion of The Ultimate Fighter 17, but I think the next logical step here is for Sonnen to adopt his own newborn daughter – perhaps one that never shuts up – and train her to talk trash to Olivia. Then the UFC could have “Bring Your Daughter to Work” pay-per-view events and eventually toddler fights.
I’m just spit-balling ideas here, but I think I could be on to something. I will sit back and await Dana White’s blank check.
*I have no idea if they’re married or not, because nobody else seems to know.