Kris Bryant can pretty much bat .150 every season for the rest of his life and he will still have a street in Chicago named after him. He can show up to spring training next year 75 pounds overweight, insisting he’s a pitcher now, and Cubs fans forever will say, “Yeah but 2016.”
But while’s still at his playing weight and one of the best hitters in the game, Bryant is doing the post-championship media tour. He stopped to talk to Jimmy Kimmel and even got to meet Ryan Slagle, the sobbing Cubs fan. If you made fun of him, well guess what? Slagle got to be on Kimmel and meet a Cub, so who is owned now, Internet people?
Kimmel and Bryant also talked about the famous rain delay meeting that will reach mythical levels 100 years from now and also something that could have happened in an alternate universe — a smiling Bryant fielding the ground ball, smiling all along, and throwing it away. Even Steve Bartman would have felt bad for Bryant if that happened.
Bryant also talks about how his dad groomed him, but for baseball, not like gave him haircuts. That would’ve been weird, especially if he was still doing this while he was an adult.
Then there’s the part where Bryant is blown away by the existence of Cubs fans waiting outside Wrigley on locker clean-out day. Look, late-night talk show clips are like at-bats. He’s not going to knock them all out of the park.