WTF: Kris Humphries Was Almost Technically The Father Of Kim Kardashian’s Unborn Child?

Last week, we brought you news that Kanye West had announced during his concert in Atlantic City that he had indeed conceived a child in the maternal dungeon that is Kim Kardashian’s womb. And, of course, the sports-related part of that story is that Kardashian is still married to Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries, so I vaguely speculated that this development could have a huge impact on the couple’s neverending divorce proceedings that are already costing them millions of dollars.

As it turns out, we almost – almost – had a contender for the most ridiculously amazing story of the year, thanks to California paternity laws.

They’ve been separated for more than a year, but that don’t matter much in California, where the husband of a pregnant woman is PRESUMED to be the father.

Translation — Kris Humphries has the edge going in as Kim Kardashian’s baby daddy. If he were to lay claim to the kid, Kim and Kanye would have to present “clear and convincing evidence” to a judge that Kanye did the dirty. (Via TMZ)

Unfortunately, as awesome as it would be to see Humphries proclaim, “Hurrr, that’s my kid now” and force Kardashian and Kanye to publically describe their sexual conquest – I’m sure there’s a tape – it turns out that the rule isn’t that simple. Humphries and Kardashian would have to actually be living together in order for him to stake his derpy claim to the child.

“California law is clear that when a child is born to a married couple the presumption of fatherhood is in favor of the husband, but that assumes they are living together, cohabitating in legal terms,” attorney and founder of Men’s Family Law, David T. Pisarra told The Huffington Post. “Since Kim and Kris are separated the presumption of Kris as the father would not apply. I imagine that when baby Kimye is born, Kim will name Kanye as the father and he will sign a Declaration of Paternity just like thousands of other unmarried couples do to protect the rights of the baby to have both loving parents in his/her life forever.” (Via the HuffPo)

Apparently Kardashian is also furious that Humphries is still hanging on to his silly, little grudge that she married him just so she could get $17 million from E! for their wedding. Allegedly. So she’s trying to get her lawyers to convince Humphries to let it go already, which I assume means Humphries will eventually look like this.

Meanwhile, here’s a video of a female Oklahoma City Thunder fan reacting to Kris Humphries in the way I just assumed all women reacted to him.

(Video via Daily Thunder.)

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