According to my watch, the Preakness Stakes begins in thirty minutes, so here's your clairvoyant assistant editor's prediction for a superfecta winner:
- Circular Quay (currently 5-1) — Quay is the Irish (or British) way of saying dock. Sure it's quaint, but it if you don't know what it means, it makes it extremely difficult to find where the prostitutes are.
- Street Sense (currently 7-5) — Sadly we won't have a Triple Crown winner this year. Carl Yastremski will live in the national consciousness for at least one more year.
- Hard Spun (currently 4-1) — Is this a reference to yarn or The Price is Right? Either way, St. Tommy took the form of a bottle of Jameson and told me this equine would show.
- Flying First Class (currently 13-1) — Don't you love it when rich people think they're witty by flaunting their wealth?
Now hurry and speed off to your local OTB. If you get pulled over, tell the cops I told you it was OK to ignore traffic laws. Police love me. And if you were wondering what the drink accompanying this classic event is, apparently it's warm wine imbibed from a bag, expertly shown by the lovely Jasmine. -KD
UPDATE: Whoa, that's a little spooky huh? St. Thomas Aquinas actually transmogrified into a green bottle of goodness and is correctly picking winners. I can't wait to meet the Devil's Advocate from the Vatican and share this miracle with him. Officially, Curlin won, Street Sense placed, and Hard Spun showed with CP West finishing just out of the money. A $1 superfecta wager paid $340.30, and I should have just placed a show bet because now I have to pawn my genuine platinumique Casio timekeeper.