About f*cking time, says the Miami Dolphins fan who will be cursing Jeff Ireland’s name (even more than he already does right now) by week 3. Whatever, this baseball season has seemed longer than any other before it, and that feels very strange for me to say, because I love baseball more than anything. But I guess I’m also just excited that it’s time for some fantasy football so I have an excuse to sit in one place at a bar for eight hours other than, “I’m a degenerate.”
And I shall soon have my Week 1 prayer to the fantasy gods to send Ray Rice on his most epic quest yet. So quit being all immensely talented, Bernard Pierce.
NFL Sunday Night Football: Ravens at Broncos – 8:30 PM ET on NBC
In a rematch from their AFC Divisional matchup in the playoffs, the Broncos will look to even the score against the Ravens, although that would mean they’d have to beat them in the playoffs if they really wanted to make it even. Otherwise, cool, you won a week 1 game.
Pro Football Talk Kickoff Special – 7 PM ET on NBC Sports
I wouldn’t watch an hour and a half of Mike Florio pretending to be a football analyst if they had a bubble in the bottom corner of the screen that featured a neverending loop of Kate Upton dancing. Hell, I’d have to strongly consider watching Florio for 10 minutes if Upton was on the entire screen and Florio was in the bubble. “Hurrrr, I’m a lawyer who talks about sports!” Congrats, I know a hundred of those, and they’re all a hell of a lot more charismatic and entertaining.
NCAA Football: FAU at ECU – 7:30 PM ET on Fox Sports 1
Sorry Owls, you know I cheer for you, but not tonight.
U.S. Open Tennis: Men’s Quarterfinals – 8 PM ET on ESPN
Have fun, one person who watches this tonight.