In boring NBA news, the Indiana Pacers defeated the Golden State Warriors 108-97 last night, and the most shocking thing about that game should have been that both the Pacers and Warriors are in the thick of the playoff hunt. Of course, the Pacers have it much easier, as they’re currently in second place in the Eastern Conference, 8 games ahead of the 8th seed Milwaukee Bucks, while the Warriors are clinging to a small lead over the Utah Jazz and Houston Rockets for the 6th seed, so they need every win they can get.
But we don’t give a crap about any of that because FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! With 6 minutes left in the game, Warriors forward David Lee and disgruntled former Entertainment 720 employee Roy Hibbert got into a heated shoving match. Somewhere, the scrapper formerly known as Ron Artest just shook his head and frowned.
Then everyone else got involved and the Pacers fans shouted a collective, “Why, I never!” What a terrible thing to happen on free monocle night.
Obviously, the fight begins as Hibbert tells Lee, “I do not approve of the way that you are using appendages, specifically your hands and arms, to position yourself for a rebound.” Lee responded, “I know not what you speak of, could you show me an example?” Hibbert then jostled Lee’s torso with a strong shove, and said, “You see? Like that.”
Lee still didn’t understand, so he returned the shove and asked, “Like this?” But they just couldn’t replicate what Hibbert was suggesting. So the other players joined in to try to show Lee what Hibbert meant, like Stephen Curry, who shoved Hibbert and said, “You see, David? Like this”. Hibbert, though, thought that Curry was too soft in explaining it, so he said, “Kind of like that, but with a little more power” and then he picked Curry up and tossed him to someone in the stands who wanted a souvenir.
At least that’s how I assume it went down. As for Hibbert’s attempted dwarf toss of Curry, he was just really confused.
“Seriously, I didn’t even feel him,” Hibbert said of Curry. “I saw some light-skinned guy. I don’t know if it was Klay Thompson or Steph Curry, I just knew there was a light-skinned guy by me.”
It would have been awesome if instead of Klay Thompson, Hibbert said Tom Haveford. Because when I watch that video over and over, all I think of is Aziz Ansari screaming like a girl. Oh, and I like to think Curry yelled, “Take me there!” as Hibbert threw him.
And just because.